10 seconds

I have often looked at some aspects of my life as 10 seconds of stupid, followed by an hour of explanation. I feel like I have eaten more humble pie then most people that I know. Not that I am more or less opinionated than other people, but that for some reason or another I tend to open my mouth and a few minutes later engage my brain. I realize now that it is an ADHD trait and for the most part I am powerless for what comes out of my mouth, and I generally end up saying I am sorry, and I am sorry, and I am sorry just because I know I do it, I just didn't know I was doing it.

I had an epispode this week that I did it at work. To be honest, I did't say or do anything derogratory, I just said something someone didn't like, and boy did that cause stress for me. I spent most of my week literally trying to cope, giving things to God, trying not to think too far ahead about it, but spending time worrying about it. I can't tell you the number of conversations I had before the actually conversations. Unfortunately, the conversation pretty much went the way I expected it to go, but in the end I apologized.

I like the fact that I will have fewer of these events in my life, I wish they would all go away, as if I could take a magic pill and suddenly be a totally compliant individual, but that just doesn't happen, or it won't happen. But, meds have helped the amount of odd sentences and thoughts that come out of my mouth, and that gives me some peace.